Cry Baby

I lived the second most dreaded day of my entire time in India. The kids left campus for summer break today meaning I had to say goodbye to them for reals. Not just goodbye Ill see you in a few days but goodbye I don't know when I will see you next/ever again. Even though I wasn't looking forward to it, I honestly thought I would be able to do it without being a blubbering cry baby.

I don't know why I ever thought that. That thought was one of my stupidest thoughts ever.

I started feeling it in my stomach as I walked over to the school. I don't remember when the tears started but I am pretty sure it was before I even entered the school. Because I really thought I could do it without full on crying I didn't bring any tissues so I ended up running back to the elephant house to get some. My second trip back to the school was just as emotional, but having tissues brought me comfort. I was surprised by the amount of "I'm ready to face this" feeling having a roll of TP in my bag gave me. Generally speaking, Indian's don't tend to show a lot of emotion as far as sadness goes. They are pretty matter of factual and almost kind of dry in a lot of some ways. Well, take that norm and mix it with my openly crying in front of a bunch of them and you can imagine how it was a little awkward at times. The best words of "comfort" kept coming from Poongodi who told me "Don't feel Ashley" several different times through out the morning. I am pretty sure "don't feel Ashley" was meant as "don't be sad Ashley, things will be okay" but it still -distinctly-came out as "Don't feel Ashley". Which is ironic for several different reasons but that is another blog post in and of itself.

However to be fair, not all the tears were sad tears. Most of them were sad tears, but not all. Some of them were happy tears that came from seeing the kids be so excited about seeing their family members--who had come to pick them up. Watching their little reunions rocked and made me think about how I get to do that same thing with my family in the next couple of days. The kids LOVED introducing me to their family members. It was so fun to see where they come from. Some of the parents/relatives I have meet in the colonies, some I have not, and some I had met and not known they were so and so's mom or dad or grandma or grandpa. The whole scene reminded me of some song I vaguely remember from when I was a kid. I don't know what it was called, but I want to say it was on 101 Dalmatians. I'm pretty sure John Darling sings it and it shows all these dogs with their owners and they match--like the bulldog belongs to the beefy gym man and the poodle belongs to the primped and primed French lady. Now let me be very clear-----the kids and their families didn't remind me of dogs and their owners themselves, but the matching of the kid with their parents/relatives (owners....just kidding) sure did.

And here is this pic just because it is so cute and I love these boys:

All of it was a fun to watch and extra fun to see the kids use their English to translate between myself and their loved ones. They made me proud. Oh and the kids were so dressed up because it was a such a special occasion. I love it when the kids sport their fancy clothes.

And Guna--his family lives one of the farthest distances away so he was one of the last to be picked up--luckily for me that is. I was able to spend quiet a bit of time just hanging with the kids who were still waiting for their parents. The sweetest part of the morning was when a bunch of kids and I were playing in the hall and Guna called me over to specifically talk to him. He had a pretty serious look on his face when he asked "Ashley, do you have any babies?" I smiled and told him no and then he got a huge grin on his face. Almost tauntingly he said "Oh yes you dooooo! I'M YOUR BABY!"
My. heart. instantaneously. melted. That comment made the list of the five most adorable/sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.

Spending so much time with the kids was fun but it was kind of hard too since I had to keep going back to the elephant house from time to time to work on things there--I needed to move over to the Green House today as well. One of the times I walked back I saw Guna standing in the doorway of the school, with his backpack of belongings strapped on his shoulders and holding the hand of an semi-elderly woman. My heart literally dropped in my chest. I could feel it as strongly as if someone were to have hit my legs with a bat.

When he saw me he got super excited and motioned for me to come over. There was a lot of Tamil after that but I know he at least said best friend, Ashley, sponsor and clothing. His mom was super sweet but try as I may I couldn't stop the waterworks. Although we couldn't really talk verbally, she kept asking me why I was so sad. I had one of the staff explain to her how I have come to love India and the kids, and especially her kid, so much over the last year that it is hard to say goodbye. She responded with a lot of hugs and "its okay" pats, thank you, wiping of some of my tears, etc. But then she started crying too! That made me feel kind of awful and I am sure the other Indian around us were feeling SUPER uncomfortable but there was no stopping it. After "talking" for a bit we took some pics together, she proudly showed me some pics of her family and then gave me a picture of herself.

Eventually they really did have to leave so I walked out to the van with them, where most of the other kids were already loaded up. I took some more pics in an attempt to make the situation happier---well okay, happier for me because I was still struggling a bit.

And then we all waved until the car left the gate. And then I cried some more.

Whatever. I surrender.

Elephant Blessings

It was the last day for the Van Slooten Family (and their 90ish year old grandpa who flew in this morning) and the Marriott's; Karen and Sam. We had a request to see an elephant and the nearest one to us was in Kanchipuram. Maybe it was. We didn't know for sure if it would be there but we decided to take our chances. I'm not even sure how long the drive out there was, but I swear it was at least three times longer then I was planning on it being. Despite the drive, Kanchipuram was a success. The elephant was in the main temple, which was good because we weren't able to do much else in the temple other then walk around the outside because we for sure weren't allowed inside. The temple priests made that very known.

So what does an elephant blessing entail? It starts with you walking up to the elephant while holding some coins in your hand. The elephant grabs said coins with his trunk (it can be a little slimy) then raises its trunk up and blesses you by tapping/hitting you on the head with it. And just like that it is over. It is quick and sweet but cool none the less. My favorite thing about the elephant blessings was watching the little children receive them. You could tell they were so nervous yet they held so still and then would bust up giggling and squealing all the way back to their mom and dad. It was absolutely adorable and oozing with childhood innocence. The other highlight of the elephant was when he farted. I know I sound like a teenage boy right now but it was so big. It literally kind of sounded like an explosion although nothing other then air exploded out--thank the heavens for that--and surprisingly it didn't really stink that much/not at all really. Which I am sure was another blessing from above.

After elephant blessings and exploring the town some, we headed up to Chennai--which I swear was another 4 hour drive. :) Maybe I am just really REALLY done with all the bus rides. We grabbed a bite to eat and then dropped the volunteers off at the Marriott. They will go from the Marriott to the airport for their individual flights. Some are going home, some are going up to Delhi, etc. It was werid driving back to campus having just sent off my last official volunteers. Now all that is left to do is miss them, especially the Van Slooten's grandpa--he was so sweet--and sleep. And pack. And clean. And move. And say goodbye to the kids. Uugggh. And leave India myself. Double Uuggh.
     

Silver Linings

I made my final trip to Kavacet today. Honestly I would have been fine not to go at all but it was best to go and tie up lose ends. Luckily everything checked out which meant Kavita and I did a whole lot of talking while waiting for the medical van to finish up at the colony and pick us up on the way back. I’ve always had a staff member come with me to the hospital and the last several times it has been Kavitha. It’s been so fun getting to know her better. We have had a lot of cool conversations. In a lot ways we are very similar to one another. We share some of the same trials and talking about what they mean and how it affects us given each of our cultures has been fascinating. I guess all these trips to the hospital have served more purpose then just checking up on my bodily functions.

I am so grateful for the friendships I’ve made while living here in India. Of all the things I’ll be taking home with me, the memories, the personal growth, etc. the friendships mean so much to me. Who ever knew I would be blessed to work and create friendships with so many different kinds of individuals.

Playtimes have become more precious as my time on campus has been drawing to a close. So---rather then try to tell all the stories Im just going to post a plethora of pictures from playtimes as of late. I know that may come as a shock since I "never" just post pictures on my blog. :)

 

Okay but I do have to write something here. Saytia has finished her 10th standard exams and is ready to go home--meaning today was her last day on campus. She is such a sweetheart. She can be a bit of a moody sweetheart but most girls her age fit that description from time to time so whatever. She is a natural leader and has been very involved with every program on campus the entire time I've been here. I know I will be back to visit India again some days and I didn't think about how weird it will be with out Saytia here.  Although it is sad to see her go, I am excited to see where her live takes her.