This week has gone by so slow--mostly because I have been resting trying to kick this sinus infection. I've still been working on schedules and taking care of other business, but it has been really hard for me to have to rest so much. Especially because I still don't feel much better. It is truly amazing the amount of snot that can be in your sinuses. Im pretty sure I've gone through at least 3 rolls of toilet paper. The suckiest part of this particular sinus infection is that it makes your whole body ache, your head pounds like crazy, it makes you INCREDIBLY tiered and you always feel like you just snorted a bunch of water up your nose----which is one of the worst feelings in the world to me.
Anyway, the point of this post is not to complain. The point of this post is to emotionally vomit some of my feelings from the week. Working on certain things has caused me to look at the time I have left in India. I have known about the sessions between January and April forever really, but by actually sitting down and planning them out and putting them on the calendar it hit me how much time I have left-err don't have left here. I am leaving around the beginning-mid April, and seeing as we have a pretty jammed pack schedule, I think it is going to fly by and Ill be on a plane home before I know it. Of course I am excited to see my friends, family and my long lost loves Coasta Vida/Cafe Rio/TARGET/Kneaders/Pizza Factory etc. But I am scared to lose the peace I have found here in India. I am really hoping that it just follows me home into whatever is next for me, but considering how un-peaceful I felt before coming to India its hard to feel confident that it will. Of course having these thoughts only made me feel more annoyed that I am not getting better because I feel like I am missing out on precious time by having to rest so much. Hence the mini internal freak out sessions I've had through out the week.
I wasn't going crazy, there weren't hours of tears or uncontrollable emotions-it was just a solemn heavy feeling in my gut and mind. I am staying positive though-and this has only resolved my commitment to make the most of the rest of the time I have left here-it was just kind of a bleak realization. I've come to love this quirky little place. I've come to be so comfortable here that I can't really imagine not being able to walk over and spend time with the kids everyday. Or trying to cook things with random ingredients that you think should work simply based off the picture on the box. Or walking outside and not seeing women sporting sarees and men rocking cloth skirts and turbans. Or constantly seeing/hearing Tamil. Or squatty potties. Or the staff. Or the junction. Or everything really. For how chaotic and frustrating things can be here, I feel like I've been able to adapt and accept things are they are fairly well. Like this picture---this is a totally normal scene to me now. Complete with the photo bomber/ruiner in the back.
Because that is just how India works-nothing is ever really perfect but it always seems to end up being perfectly unperfect--which has been an important life lesson for this deeply engrained perfectionist.
Anyway, the point of this post is not to complain. The point of this post is to emotionally vomit some of my feelings from the week. Working on certain things has caused me to look at the time I have left in India. I have known about the sessions between January and April forever really, but by actually sitting down and planning them out and putting them on the calendar it hit me how much time I have left-err don't have left here. I am leaving around the beginning-mid April, and seeing as we have a pretty jammed pack schedule, I think it is going to fly by and Ill be on a plane home before I know it. Of course I am excited to see my friends, family and my long lost loves Coasta Vida/Cafe Rio/TARGET/Kneaders/Pizza Factory etc. But I am scared to lose the peace I have found here in India. I am really hoping that it just follows me home into whatever is next for me, but considering how un-peaceful I felt before coming to India its hard to feel confident that it will. Of course having these thoughts only made me feel more annoyed that I am not getting better because I feel like I am missing out on precious time by having to rest so much. Hence the mini internal freak out sessions I've had through out the week.
I wasn't going crazy, there weren't hours of tears or uncontrollable emotions-it was just a solemn heavy feeling in my gut and mind. I am staying positive though-and this has only resolved my commitment to make the most of the rest of the time I have left here-it was just kind of a bleak realization. I've come to love this quirky little place. I've come to be so comfortable here that I can't really imagine not being able to walk over and spend time with the kids everyday. Or trying to cook things with random ingredients that you think should work simply based off the picture on the box. Or walking outside and not seeing women sporting sarees and men rocking cloth skirts and turbans. Or constantly seeing/hearing Tamil. Or squatty potties. Or the staff. Or the junction. Or everything really. For how chaotic and frustrating things can be here, I feel like I've been able to adapt and accept things are they are fairly well. Like this picture---this is a totally normal scene to me now. Complete with the photo bomber/ruiner in the back.
Because that is just how India works-nothing is ever really perfect but it always seems to end up being perfectly unperfect--which has been an important life lesson for this deeply engrained perfectionist.
